Speaking of Michaelangelo

stockings red and spread your legs

follow them to where they meet

and show me what i've paid for

bite your lip and close your eyes

hide the tears you feel inside

for giving up what was yours

i've watched the women come and got

they speak of michealangelo

they think all of their thoughts are all theirs

i want to take one home with me

i put on my shoes and step outside

i breathe the air i know is mine

see everything i own

i've got a house a car and diamond rings

and i can buy these needed things

because i did what i was told

"you could be holding on a rocket

instead you've fallen by the way side of life"

she said "but you don't understand it

this is how i choose to live my life and that's fine"

"i want to take you home

and dry your crying eyes"

and she said "well i just sell my body

but you have gone and sold your mind"

she's right

- Outsmarting Simon, "Hub City"

This song always has me thinking. It makes me think of "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", one of my favorite poems, written by T.S. Eliot. It makes me think of my value set; what is it and why is it there? It makes me think of the values of others and how they vary from mine. Is anyone right? Are our values anything more than just scenery?

The song brings up an important point once we get to the middle. With emphasis on the word "needed" when talking about material things, it shows the value set in accordance with the majority. He says he has all of these things because he "did what [he] was told". This is the life that most of us lead because we are told that it is what we want. This is the American Dream; setting up for family life by going through the motions, getting a good job, and buying the things that are wanted and appreciated by members of society.

The problem comes when a new character comes into play, one with an entirely different value set. This girl goes out and has sex for money, but she is a good person. This is very conflicting for the main character, because all his life he has had an emphasis put on innocence on purity while doing good, but this girl has half of that. She does not care about purity; she leads a life of excess because she enjoys it. This creates a crisis of conscience for the man and his value set, as it calls into question the life he has been putting together since the dawn of his existence.

The last verse is the major point of the song. The main character is telling the girl that she could be so much more if she would simply put fun on the back-burner and be the best person she could be. The girl, though, is happy and feels that she is in complete control of her own life by doing the things that she wants and enjoys, whether they are in contrast with social norms or not. In the final lines of the song, she says: "well i just sell my body but you have gone and sold your mind". This hits close to home for me, as it points out a very large fear that most pseudo-intellectuals have: that my thoughts are not my own.

I feel as though I am smart enough to think for myself and to not be swayed by the media. I also feel that I have strong moral fiber and try my best to do what is right. But as I have gotten older, the lines between right and wrong have gotten more skewed. As I still try to cling to my ideals, I realize that the world around me is ever changing, especially as I have begun my ascension into adulthood. It seems that adulthood and ideals don't mesh so well together though, and that is very bothersome for me. Is the girl in the song right, as the speaker says? Have I sold my mind to these morals that are actually worthless in the long run? I realize that these ideals are promoted as social norms, but behind closed doors am I the only one who actually clings to them? I feel as though anyone I ask about it tends to have their own agenda. On top of that, if no one buys into it, it doesn't matter who I ask about it because it's all going to be a falsehood regardless.

What happened to good moral decision making and sacrificing for your ideals? It's very hard to find a guide in all of this, someone to inspire me towards doing good. But what is good? Are drugs still considered bad? Is sex still something that should be limited to love, or is it a pleasure tool? The only heroes I can find are fictional characters, which I think says a lot about the world I (we) live in. Whatever the case may be, my fear of change will keep me holding on tightly to the morals of my childhood like a young boy still holds onto his blanket for comfort, even after he should have grown out of it.